Shaming and
victim blaming

Talking, listening, and simply being there without judgement

“We all have a naked body, nothing strange about that.”

Click, and the photo has been forwarded. A photo that was clearly meant for only one person’s eyes.We live in a digital age where both young people and adults share photos with each other, including intimate photos. That is simply a reality. “We all have naked bodies, there is nothing strange about that,” Meddy says.

Yet most people experience intense shame when such a photo ends up in the wrong hands or is publicly shared online, as happened in Meddy’s case. The judgemental reactions can be harsh and unforgiving.(This is shaming).).

“It’s your own fault” or “that was stupid” are often the first reactions. But they are not helpful. In fact, they suggest that the victim is to blame, known asvictim blaming. And with the rise of AI, images can now also be altered or entirely generated, giving people even less control over how images are created and spread.

Meddy wants to break through the discomfort, silence, and taboos surrounding these topics, in order to help young people and adults who feel trapped in shame. At the same time, she wants to create awareness among everyone who knows someone going through this experience.

She explains how parents, schools, managers, and public leaders can break the silence by finding the right words and responding in the right way. Because: “If we as adults avoid having these conversations, how can we expect young people to learn how to deal with them?”

Read Meddy's story

“What I need is simple, but not easy: stay. Without judgement. Without rushing. Be my safe place. My gentle place. Even when it seems like I push you away. Deep down, that is exactly what I need most.”

Meddy Goossens, quote from her letter to her parents

Awareness

Breaking taboos
in a digital age

Shaming at home 

No parent wants their child to suffer, and most words and actions come from good intentions. But Meddy asks parents to be aware that the very first words spoken when a child goes through something painful, can stay with them forever. She encourages parents to listen calmly, without judgement, and simply be there. To help parents better understand what their child may be feeling, Meddy shares the letter she once wrote to her own parents. Because, as she says: “Sometimes feelings only find words later.”

Download the letter for parents here

Shaming at school

School years can be an amazing time for young people, but also an incredibly vulnerable period in their lives. When rumours spread or private photos are shared, school can suddenly feel unsafe and deeply stressful. According to Meddy, schools have an important responsibility in educating students about the risks of sexting, AI-generated images, and the importance of breaking taboos and discomfort around sexuality. A teacher too, can make a huge difference for a young person dealing with an experience like this.

Shaming at work

An employee goes through something difficult. Rumours, or even images, begin to circulate. There are jokes, awkward silences, or avoidance when that person enters the room. No one says anything, because people often do not know what to say. But according to Meddy, there is actually a lot you can say. She knows firsthand the impact it has when a manager or colleague sits beside you and sincerely asks: “Are you really okay?” Meddy does not offer a step-by-step guide, but through her story she helps managers and colleagues become aware of the important role they play in these vulnerable situations.

Shaming in Government and Public Leadership

Public officials and politicians live under constant public scrutiny. Meddy herself was active in local politics and experienced how one story reduced her entirely to that story alone, unfairly casting doubt on her professionalism and abilities. By sharing her experiences, she wants governments and public leaders to recognize the responsibility and example-setting role they carry.

Meddy Goossens | keynotespreker en auteur

Your story

Tell your
story

Do you recognize yourself in Meddy’s story and do you want to start a conversation with your parents, family, or friends? Meddy has written a sample letter that captures what she was feeling at the time. You are welcome to use it to help the people around you better understand what you are going through.

Download the letter here

The book

Read
 Meddy's story

Would you like to read Meddy’s full story? In her book SHAMING, she shares not only the painful moments, but also the experiences that ultimately gave her the strength to take back control and tell her own story.

Order Medddy's book

Keynote speaker

Listen
 to Meddy's story

The impact of a single decision can be enormous and continue for years. How do we deal with these risks for both young people and adults in a digital age, as parents, teachers, professionals, and policymakers? As a keynote speaker, Meddy shares her insights and experiences.

Meddy as keynote speaker